Here’s a secret. I am a big commitment “phobe” and getting into any serious relationship has been a very interesting process for me. From the time I ended my marriage over 11 years ago I have had 2 serious relationships and the rest of the time I have been casually dating.

Successful career woman at the time, single mother of 2 children 23 months apart with zero help from my ex-husband, his family, my family is overseas, I was left on my own. Then I left my Government career 4 years ago to build my online business, and with 2 kids in tow we left to travel South East Asia for a year. Yes, by myself.

Everything I have ever accomplished, I did it on my own, by myself, with zero help. EVERYTHING.

For me  being in causal relationships was safe, it helped me experience all the nice romantic ‘relationship” stuff without “owing” anybody anything. I wasn’t afraid of intimacy quite the contrary. I always gave my partners deep intimacy but without the commitment. I intuitively knew that I had an energetic boundary capability to block people out and I was able to control who I allowed into my energy body. There was a certain depth I could easily share with my partner knowing I could dive deeper than them if I wished but always refused. This is because that level of depth meant sharing my intimate relationship with God with my partner. I have refused to do this my entire life. This is also why my casual partners would eventually become “hooked” on me so quickly. They loved the way I made them feel, they always yearned for more and it made me run in the opposite direction. I am unfortunately the “heartbreaker” I have never been rejected in any relationship until my Twin Flame rejected me. Let me tell you how painful that was but over time I realized it was an inevitable fear I didn’t want to face my entire life. Well, he brought it forward for me to face head on!

When I did date seriously nobody could meet me in my depth, and because of this my partners always thought I was holding back or that I wasn’t being open with them. In fact, I was but the depth they wanted was for me and God, and nobody else…. until I met my Twin Flame. He walked in there shockingly with ease and broke me wide open. God and my twin flame share the same energy to me, divinity.

My relationships have always been one sided because most people either really loved me to the point of obsession, or they used me for my money (or what I have), my spiritual gifts etc., or they dislike/hate me and wanted to siphon my energy and saw me as competition (this usually comes from jealousy and insecurities for the most part). It’s always a very defined line. It’s to the point now I can read the unsaid energy of what people really want with me and why I am super selective of who I engage with.

What shocked me the most since meeting my Twin was that I didn’t realize that deep inside me I discovered that I wanted a family structure. I have been doing some intense deep healing over the last 2.5 years since our meeting. The deeper I went into my healing I realized that I missed giving my children the foundation of family, support and to illustrate to them what true loves is between partners who work together instead of apart. This is why I left my marriage in the first place, it wasn’t a partnership that supported me and my lifepath.

My dreams of that happening are unfortunately coming to an end as my children are now hitting their teenage years, I doubt I will ever be able to give them that solid family life. It’s been one of my deepest regrets in this life.

I realized that my inability to commit to anybody else after my marriage ended was because of codependency traits I found in most people. Most people are attached to their exterior world than I am and it’s something that triggers me because I know it’s not true alignment. My trauma forced me out of codependency and into God’s arms. I formed a deep relationship with Great Spirit at a very young age where most people attached to love outside of self. It’s because of that why I am far from being attached and rarely codependent. If anything I am much more aloof and detached. Insecure, clingy, codependent people drive me insane and every person I was in a relationship with always ended up being clingy, possessive, who became so insecure within themselves they tried to control me. These partners wanted me to open up the sacred space I shared with God. This has always been a big no no for me. I learned very young to keep that light sacred because it was God’s light that saved me from trauma.

I am not someone who can be controlled, you can not cage this bird! My free spirit has always been something my partners always found attractive until they realized they were very uncomfortable with so much freedom. You see I give the freedom as much as I want to receive. I am so secure in myself I am completely fine with self discovery and conscious expansion if that means both parties are open, vulnerable and authentic with one another. Something many people are unable to do I have realized.

The freer I was the more insecure they became. It has been a horrible cycle until I realized that I was done with soulmate, karmic connections.  I was hitting a place of becoming whole within myself which is why the attached codependency I found in so many others annoyed me.

This cycle of dating and ending things has been quite the ride which is why I haven’t committed to anybody fully because my freedom is golden to me. I like being wild and free to do what I want, live how I want, dress and tattoo myself freely etc. I too became fed up of not meeting the person I am meant to be with that in May 2018 I surrendered my love life to God. This was 2 months before I met my Twin Flame. I said “God, take my love life you know best”

June 2018 is when I met my twin flame in Mexico during my first Ayahuasca ceremony. I had given up ever finding someone to settle down with, but what I didn’t realize was my life was about to change. I told Spirit that my freedom and maintaining my free spirit in a partnership would have to be totally possible or I would be fine being alone the rest of my life. You see, I would rather be alone then to settle just to have company? I am not an attached being, it’s just not in my nature, that’s me.

When I met my Twin Flame, after our energy merge, the unfolding in our connection showed me that freedom could be possible with him.

Why is that? Why is freedom possible with your twin flame and not with anybody else? It’s because you are the same soul. When your soul was created it was created merged and in union with God and your Twin Flame. You are the same soul frequency. Nobody else has this connection, it’s unique, pure and sacred. This is why so many people are meeting their Twin Flames, because our world is in massive need of deep healing. The divine love of Twin Flames when they come together can heal in ways we haven’t fully witnessed yet in our world.

This is because, deep inside the Twin Flames they both feel, think and desire the same things in their soul knowing. It’s an EXACT CLEAR MIRROR!

The same choices you desire deep within yourself are the exact same desires your twin flame desires. If you want freedom so does your twin. If you want a family life, so does your twin. If you have digestive issues, so does your twin. It’s an exact clear mirror. Up until the point where you meet your Twin Flame, everyone else before that will be a broken mirror, showing you where you need to heal. Twin Flames are a clear mirror where your gifts and divinity are reflected back, not the wounding.

This is a big misconception in the New Age community. People are thinking Twin Flames mirror the wounding, that’s not true. The wounding is the pain you have already acquired within you from your past. That pain doesn’t come from the other person. It’s not what the other person is doing on the outside that triggers you, it’s the disruption of the peace within you that you share with your Twin Flame that gets disrupted by other karmic situations. That’s the inside pain that requires your attention.

When that peace is restored with yourself, it will ignite your Twin Flame to seek that inner peace once more within them. It’s inevitable.

This connection is so divine God would never put you two together until you both were ready to reflect your gifts and divinity back to one another. Those who claim to be in a Twin Flame union and who are reflecting pain, toxicity, codependency, and drama to one another are not Twin Flames. Twin Flames are here to hold such a divine love that many are attracted to their work and to their healing mission. I have personally experienced it with my Shaman’s, those two when in union and in mission together share such a HOLY connection. It’s unexplainable and very potent divine love. It’s the karmic situations and darker energies of jealousy, control, lack, manipulation and greed that break these divine connections apart. This is because there is more darkness on Earth than Divine love. But that is changing and why Twin Flames are coming together!

The reasons Twin Flames go into separation is because of the intensity and the power of this connection. Its so magical we “think” we made it up, because it makes no rational/logical sense. There are too many cultural differences, or a big age gap, the distance is too far etc. Our mind’s can make up many excuses, but the only true explanation is that when both Twin Flames came face to face with God, the connection is up to God. All obstacles that seem to be in the way will be removed by Spirit, not the Twin Flames. The only task of the Twin Flames is to do the healing work. When you heal within, you reconnect with your Twin Flame and God simultaneously.

Many of you are probably wondering how can you have complete freedom and a family unit with a solid commitment? In our world marriage and commitment is the good old “ball and chain” and in fact, I’m not going to lie, in many partnerships this is the case. It’s why I haven’t committed since I left my marriage. My freedom is way too important to me and I have always been one to want it all. It’s my birthright and I know what I am entitled to. That’s not ego my friends. That’s ultimate self love. Don’t let society and the world tell you any different. You can have it all too, whatever that means for you! As long as you remain humble to Spirit and you do your best to serve humanity, your rightful abundance, peace, love and happiness will be yours!

This includes if God brings you and your Twin Flame together in this life to share a mission and a life together. It means you have done your healing, you desire to serve humanity first, and you desire to be pure of heart/ intentions in your daily choices. You choose the freedom to be yourself without compromising yourself, that’s all it takes to be in a divine union.

I know that sounds hard but it isn’t.  It’s easy really, because all Spirit is calling you to do is to heal and be you. It’s called knowing yourself so deeply and so authentically you refuse to compromise yourself for anyone or anything. This is when you will be connected to yourself and to God. When both Twins are connected to God FIRST is when God will bring the Twins back together.  That is the only way a Twin Flame union can work.

When you know the connection between you and your person so authentically, with zero doubt and you are confident in yourself and your contribution to that connection without clinging or making your exterior world a definition of your inner world, it becomes quite harmonious and easy.

In a twin flame union, commitment is not to anybody else outside of yourself. It’s a commitment to your conscious expansion, to your spiritual path with God. That’s it. When you align to God is when you are in complete commitment with your twin flame. No compromising. No denying self. It’s in that space you both can be anything and anyone you desire because you are fully in alignment to God and in turn, because twin flames choose the same desires on the inside, your twin will be in alignment to God and they too desire the same dreams as you.

It’s truly perfect, but our human ego’s and mind patterns fight this. We fight that the person in front of us doesn’t match our “list” or our ego desires. For instance, I was exclusively dating women for over 10 years when I met my Twin Flame and considered myself a lesbian. I am still into dating women, but my connection with him is entirely different.  His masculine energy completely snaps my soul back into pure divine alignment where I know I am not “really” attracted to women, but I am attracted to the emotional connection I can have with women. I haven’t found that depth in a man yet (with the exception of my Twin)

It’s because I know his body is only his vessel. The depth in how I know his soul is how I know my soul and how I know God. I can’t help but love him when I love myself. When I love me, I love God, and my Twin simultaneously.

When we are in a soulmate connection, we must compromise ourselves, negotiate, and give something up in order to make the connection work. For Twin Flames, a compromising fair decision between partners never happens. This is because Twin’s realize when they communicate their deep desires openly and vulnerably, they will soon realize in that deep space they have always been communicating, planning and creating not only with Spirit but with their twin flame counterpart. It’s impossible to not want and desire the same things as your twin, and the only time the desires differ is when one twin is not awakened and choosing egoic stimulus instead of their soul’s calling.

Yes, egoic stimulus can feel and mimic love, but again, it won’t ever be the divine love you feel with Spirit. When you feel God’s love its’ the same love you experience with your twin, for twin flames don’t fall in love. They walk into love, they become love immediately. Falling in love implies that you must lower something in your vibration in order to meet another person. To make a soulmate connection work both parties must surrender a personal desire in order to make the relationship work, and that is why the connection becomes compromising for an awakened soul.

Highly awakened souls reach a point in their journey where this type of falling into unconscious love, or soulmate love no longer fits with their journey and their soul’s expansion.

Twin Flames are already highly awakened souls who are here to implement the divine love of God into the Earth, so that many others can access and find their true love. Isn’t that what we all really want? Who Great Spirit truly made us for?

Everyone on the planet has a Twin Flame, your Creator would not make you without your perfect person, but it’s up to you to dig deep into getting to know your Twin Flame on the INSIDE first. If you are not ready for a Twin Flame in this lifetime, Spirit has a soulmate for you that will be perfect for you as you expand and grow in your consciousness. Not everyone comes into union with their Twin Flame. That’s up to Spirit. If you have met your Twin Flame, union is most definitely a possibility, but you must be ready to do that deep healing work first.

In the meantime, you can speak to your Twin Flame on the inside. Your person is in you, speak to them. Ask them on the inside who they are, where are they? You will feel them. Connect first to them on the inside, and ask Spirit to show you this love on the inside. God will guide you to your person on the inside when you ask.  You will feel warmth and peace.

I remember when I asked for my Twin Flame (over 11 years ago) I felt him out in the world but it took me 9 years before he and I would physically meet and merge. This entire time I have been following the energy frequency of feeling my Twin deep inside. Granted I too mistook many ex partners for a divine counterpart, but what always brought me back to the truth was the dramatic energy I experienced in those connections. Spirit has clearly shown me that drama and toxicity can not exist in a REAL TWIN FLAME CONNECTION. NEVER

Read that again.

Divine love and fear can not be present in the same space. Yes, you can transcend the dark and merge the light and dark, but both energies are not congruently present. This is why Twin Flames separate in order to heal that toxicity through other karmic/soulmate relationships.

Twin Flame connections are NOT DRAMATIC. They are PEACEFUL. Even if I wanted to, I could never yell at my twin, something holds me back whereas with other partners it was a free-for-all! Trust me, I have no problem expressing myself in any form. For some reason with him, how I am humbled to God I am humbled to him. This has been so very hard for me because even in the injustices that have happened in our connection the love grows stronger. It doesn’t fade. I still haven’t been able to wrap my head around this but to accept it and love him and move on.

I have accepted the divine connection between he and I and the deep peace between us is so strong and so very present because it’s God. God is there with us in our connection.

Soulmates do not have God alive and present in their connection. It is not a connection or a sacred marriage ordained by Great Spirit which can be witnessed in the purest alignment found in nature and the Universe. It’s perfection. Soulmates are contracted connections to learn lessons and grow. Twin Flames expand consciousness together, healing many with their mission, plus they have already healed and learned their lessons before coming into sacred union. Soulmates are two souls recognizing each other from other incarnations, and yes, these connections are powerful too and can be life changing and committed. It all depends on where you are at in your evolutionary journey, and being with your Twin Flame is something you might not be ready for in this lifetime. Neither is good or bad, it’s simply where you are at as a soul. You always get what you are ready for.

We can not come into union with our Twin Flame until we have healed all karmic and codependent patterns within ourselves. How will you know you have done this? It is when you are at peace deep within, working creatively with God, you are on mission (or close to starting) and you are committed to serve humanity over material gain and self survival. This connection is the highest of the high and the purest of the pure.

Even when I went into separation with my Twin, we didn’t fight, to be honest I have no idea how that even happened without any yelling? LOL Definitely not my typical experiences with relationships. For some reason I just know him, and it makes sense because our energies are so alike!

During my soul’s evolution process, I have realized that, yes being with my Twin Flame is my ultimate dream, however that isn’t to say that you can’t be with a soulmate. During my healing process, I found that I can still be in a peaceful space with him on the inside and I can move on. It took me over 2 years to sort out the intensity of our connection, and now I am able to see that a soulmate connection, although it will never be as deep, it can be very fulfilling.

For those in the surrender stage of their Twin Flame journey, this is the most freeing experience ever! It means the deep healing that your separation brought up shows us that the love will never die. Never ever. God’s love can’t die it’s never-ending. That being said, when the healing is complete is when you have made that deep peace with God and with your twin. Soon enough Spirit will open the door to new exciting connections that are awaiting you. This is when you are in full flow of allowing Spirit to work through your life, even if that means your Twin Flame doesn’t show up to be with you in mission in this incarnation.

I have the comfort of knowing that our love is the strongest that will ever be for both of us, but this world might just not be ready for that intense healing power? I leave it up to God now and have done everything in my power to ground what we could.

To be in life mission we must realize we don’t have a say in this, it’s how Spirit guides us, and we follow. We set our deepest intentions and move on. We heal. We cry. We grieve. We get up. We fall down. We grieve again. We pray. Pray some more. Pray again. Do mission. Eat right. Exercise. Love self. You got this!

Union is what Twin Flames are about, it is the God Source energy that brings the two together, nothing else. It isn’t sexual attraction, or meeting someone through someone else, at work, or at the park. No. The first meeting between Twins is such an uncanny, spiritual, synchronistic event, it’s so magical the mind can not logically explain it. This is how God gets you into never forgetting this person as hard as we try to move on. We can’t move on from God although we think we can. We either play in the egoic mind or get real about our spiritual path. You can’t have both.

I have tried to analyze and logically explain he and I. Trust me I am super analytical, and just because I wear my heart on my sleeve, most people don’t realize how sharp and intelligent I really am. I am constantly observing without judgement, and I keep my mouth shut until I am ready to action as I wish. Most of my partners saw this as shady. I see it as awakened. It’s just how I work, I’m pretty sure my Twin is the exact same way.

My final analysis is that he and I are one. God created our one souls together in union and one day, maybe in the next life we can finally bring that potent healing energy into the Earth to heal others, heal the Earth, and to help others find their true love.

For now, I am helping Twin Flames heal, to move through the dense painful energies that separation brings (because I know how debilitating it can be. I never grieved so hard as I did for him) and how to work with God and your Twin Flame within you to access the highest healing possible as you surrender.  The pain twin flames experience in separation is more than any other pain you have ever experienced. It is more than any soulmate connection I have ever had, but it is possible to heal!

This means you allow Spirit to come into your heart to guide you along your path, even if that means without union with your Twin Flame.

This is not an easy journey. As strong as I am, and even though I healed so much in my life, I can honestly say my Twin Flame journey and meeting him has been the biggest life changing force I have ever experienced. That is beyond birthing my babies and any ayahuasca ceremony. All we can do is to heal within and surrender. Life does go on my friends I promise you that, romance happens again and your mission unfolds.

Use the energies of divine masculine and divine feminine within to balance your energies into peace. Remember peace is the ultimate vibration to hold within, and it is totally worth striving for!

Be grateful your Twin Flame connection brought you closer to God and closer to your mission, if that’s all it was to be in this lifetime. In union or not, whatever healing you had to undergo will help serve others in the collective as you move forward. That’s a gift in itself.