My Apologies

To all my followers, this has taken me some time to come back out into the world and express myself. I know some of you have been following me for many years, witnessing my ins and outs on social media, hearing bits and pieces of my roller coaster life of self discovery. This ambition to push myself deeper into my darkness, into the depths of my soul for expansion has me questioning my sanity some days; Yet I know ‘sanity’ defined by societal values never resonated with me.

Sit back grab a joint, a wine or a tea because I am about to get very real with all of you.

My twin flame journey broke my heart. Devastatingly unlike pain I have ever felt before, but it wasn’t in a depressed state. This was different. It was a depth so deep into my soul that I had to learn to surrender to this feeling. I spent the month of July in Mexico healing. I went from speaking with my twin everyday, for months on end, having regular phone calls, to nothing. My faith in spirit whispered to me to trust deeper into the unknown of letting go of more control. I was told to completely pull away from him for my growth and healing.

I want to always be as honest as I possibly can with my followers, while still maintaining privacy in my personal life, because sharing and being vulnerable to my fellow human family, where we share one consciousness, is very important to me. My life’s journey and experiences are what will resonate for my human family, and that energy frequency will be felt by those who are drawn to my work. Then we can have deeper connections spanning the globe in love, peace and friendship as we all do our best to expand and grow.

My twin is not at fault and neither am I as we entered full blown physical separation at the end of June. This connection is new to both of us, and we are learning how to work in this energy, but I do know myself well enough and love myself deeply to not be in certain frequencies. My vibration has to be at a certain place of operation in order for me to function. This separation literally broke me.

Since meeting my twin last year, the love we share, the tethered etheric love of divinity we experienced outshine all types of connections I have experienced in my life thus far. There wasn’t lust, it was just pure divine unconditional God’s love. Passion is not from physical attraction, or mental chemistry, it is from the soul, from Creator Force energy, the desire to co-create, it was DYNAMIC! A love with zero ego involved, something I can’t put into words. This type of intense energy is very difficult to bring down into physical manifestation, and so we act from what we know. Pain and suffering.

There were lies. I was kept in the dark about certain things. I pulled away, spoke my truth and said goodbye. The toxicity of it all made me purge, the energy literally had me over the toilet. In July the deep healing I had during my ayahuasca ceremonies, I have come to many realizations within myself of why this happened. I wasn’t choosing me and the mission. I still had self esteem issues which I never knew I had until I met him.

This journey is truly about getting on board with being your truest expression of yourself. My twin makes me grow in ways I never thought possible, because we transform each other so deeply. When we touch, we expand one another at lightening speed. Its such a divine love! Plus we have so much juicy sorcerer energy together!!! I really don’t want him to fear our connection but to face it and respect it.

I wanted to write this to all of you so you can understand how much healing I have been doing mending my broken heart. Spirit has shown me where my spiritual coaching business is shifting yet again and moving more into shadow work and helping clients face their dark , plus I am now working with Egyptian Scorpion Healing Magik presented to me during a ceremony.

The Universe has been preparing me my entire life to work in this type of dense energy. I have been given very clear messages of how and what the mission looks like and because of this I am able to face very dark things and hold my light in those spaces.

It’s why my twin has avoided his dark for so long. True feminine energy is dark. There’s an underlying power in darkness that as a mass consciousness we instead try to heal it, ease it, bandage it, and run from it. There is a fine balance that I show clients how to sit in their dark so they are able to comfortably discover their balance and their own power. This is why I want my twin and I to slowly ease into figuring out who and what we are together, without anything or anyone coming in between that. This sacredness deserves respect. It’s is only a seed a right now that has been planted in the soil. It still needs the emotions of water to nurture its growth, and the illumination of the ego that is given by the sun.

This is why I want union but that doesn’t mean I can’t still do the calling without him. Being in service while in union however is my dream because the power will be HUGE. It will allow me to enter the next step in my journey where I can open even deeper into vulnerable service with my Divine Masculine protecting and respecting the energies I channel. He can then take those messages and build in the physical plane. This is why I walked away and blocked him. I have deep self love and respect for this calling. It’s sacred and it is worthy of being honoured.

This connection isn’t romantic but that isn’t to say I don’t want it all. Of course I do, and I want what is my birthright and my divine soul’s rightful alignment. He and I were created as one, the same soul. What I feel he feels, what he feels I feel. Yes I have had soul connections with other people and even strong telepathy, but that only means you are soul family, it doesn’t mean you are Twin Flames. The truth is Twin Flames are here to HEAL, and when they come together the intensity of their love HEALS the other on a very deep scale. Twins don’t need to compromise and work things out in their relationship. Things naturally unfold and work out with Twin Flames because when one makes a deep core choice, so does the other. Then it’s manifested in the physical plane. This is why separation happens. It’s when separation consciousness is still at play in both. I have been working very hard at ending separation consciousness in myself knowing it will naturally entice him to level up.

This truly is next level sacred shit!

It shows us a very clear soul reflection and that’s why it goes so deep. The soul’s recognize themselves in another body as the same. This is why nothing of this Earthly existence can quench the thirst of true love and the magnitude of this power to manifest and create an amazing movement of healing. It is true Creator force manifested in the purity of Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine Energies where their union heals and attracts others.

I am finally coming out of my heartache, and this healing has shown me where I am being asked to up level myself in the calling. This also means a change in my business, a new branding that this happening, and to change my YouTube Channel.

I wanted to come clean with all of you and let you know that when I do deep inner work I have a very hard time coming out of my shell. I know this has to change. I am working on it. My deepest apologies to all of you who depend on my readings. It feels like a shame pattern for me when I break and I know logically there is nothing to be shameful for. I will be doing a YouTube video very soon please stay tuned.

This is a re-emergence for me like a phoenix. Thank you for reading my story. Putting this out there hasn’t been easy. For me to be real and authentic to my mission is to be real to all of you and put that damn pride and ego aside.

Thank you all of you who messaged me over the last few months asking where I was. I am so blessed by your love. Much love xo

AHO xo I love you xo